For What It’s Worth

5 Comments

• 

  Walt
  July 3, 2009 at 6:01 pm

  Dude -
  I have to tell you, I had a rougher night than this guy did. Papa Joe and Rev Al can party. And hard.
  We went to dinner at Grannys House of Soul Food. Al made me wear a pimp suit and fedora. He is a real control freak, Dude. He said I would stand out if I didn’t, so I agreed. I kinda liked it.
  Al insisted on ordering. Just as well, because I had no idea what this food was, and Poppa Joe was sloshed and hitting on the waitresses.
  But I gotta tell you, Dude, these guys are fun to hang with.
  After dinner, they asked if I wanted to go to a Gentlemens Club. I said sure, figuring we were going to a place like RHC for a brandy. They said they were concerned about the press, so if anyone asked who I was, I should go by the name Cracker Jack. I said sure, and the both of them started rolling around laughing. What is so funny about Cracker Jacks? The toy inside?
  Anyway, we went to Skins Gentlemens Lounge. Dude. Enough said. Bare ass filly’s everywhere. And Al and Poppa Joe knew them all by name!!! And they kept introducing me as their hommie..homey.. as Cracker Jack and they would all laugh like idiots.
  And this is Allie Boy’s (that is what I call him now) cover story:
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LLciwbneuM
  What is twitter?
  I gotta get Andres out here and we will seal this deal. They will love him.
  Get the chimp dude!!!
  Your Pal,
  Walt
• 

  Walt
  July 3, 2009 at 6:10 pm

  Dude-
  Wrong link:http://thedailyvoice.com/voice/2009/07/al-sharpton-fires-back-at-medi-002066.php
  Sorry!!
  Your Pal,
  Walt
• 

  Anonymous
  July 3, 2009 at 6:29 pm

  Hmmm..there’s usually no screaming during sex in Connecticut? Tsk, Tsk..such a shame!!

  Although, in fairness, the “mom” did say that she didn’t scream, but the daughter must have heard a slap instead of screaming. I’m SO glad she cleared that misconception up. She can collect her “Mother of the Year” honorable mention certificate for being the “Mom most likely to set a good example by having loud sex and being a cougar while her child is in earshot” award.

  On another note, loud sex AND a bigfoot sighting all in one week up there?? Man, for stoic Yankees, y’all sure are busting loose this week!!

  http://www.connpost.com/news/ci_12735519
• 

  christopherfountain
  July 3, 2009 at 7:19 pm

  In Greenwich we employ the Locust Valley Lockjaw, always, making all sorts of things besides screaming impossible. But the story’s from Torrington or some such place, Connecticut’s equivalent to Alabama and who knows what they do there?
• 

  Anonymous
  July 3, 2009 at 10:36 pm

  Personally, I don’t DARE ponder what might be going on within the confines of the Alabama state borders for fear it might be too intense for a innocent pure mind such as mine. There have been rumors/legends (unconfirmed, mind you) that farm animals and deer have been fleeing the state in droves in the past few years..you can draw your own conclusions as to why.

  Of course, whatever the reason, it might stem from the fact that Alabama is a vibrator free state thanks to it’s No Sex Toy Law.

  In Alabama, you can sell guns or fireworks on any street corner but you can’t sell sex toys. One can shoot off the aforementioned fireworks and guns pretty much wherever and whenever wanted, but they don’t dare think about owning a pocket rocket. They are free to blow themselves up or away, but can not..under ANY circumstances, consider blowing anything else or own an inflatable girlfriend.

  Technically, they can still go next door to Georgia or Tennessee and buy a few “marital aids” and sneak them home in a plain brown paper wrapper to hide deep in the sock drawer, but they better not get caught buying excess batteries without a darned good reason!!

  Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall when oral arguments are presented to the Supreme Court challenging this law?

  ~SCALLIA: You say that the sale of the Twizzler-Twister should be banned?
  ALABAMA GUY: Yes,Your Honor.
  ALITO: And the Buzzer-Master?
  ALABAMA GUY: Yes, that too.
  THOMAS: What about the coke can with the fake, ummm DNA contribution?
  ALABAMA GUY: That one doesn’t vibrate, so that one’s okay.
  THOMAS: Whew! Thank goodness.~

  In conclusion, perhaps this might in a small way account for some of the mysterious odd practices rumored to occur in the nether-regions of some locations…but much like the Montague Monster, some things are just not meant to be uncovered or seen with the naked eye.

  Here’s hoping whatever happens in Alabama, stays in Alabama! (or Torrington)

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