Why I'm not reading any of the coverage of the Trump Trials ™

Because none of them matter until they reach the appeals level and,probably the Supreme Court. The fix was in long before the trials started: NY’s Letitia James and Alva Bragg both campaigned on the promise that they would “get” Trump, for instance, and the cases are being tried in cities whose demographics guarantee convictions and, in the “rape” case, a finding of liability. So there’s nothing top see here, or pay attention to.