Well, of course he was — it's California, Jake

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don’t shoot!

77-year-old Oakland homeowner arrested for murder after shooting crowbar-wielding burglar

According to the report, three criminals drove a stolen car up to his home armed with a crowbar and a replica firearm [with the intention, no doubt, of inquiring whether he’d like to buy some Girl Scout cookies — Ed]. The elderly man shot one of the criminals and held his gun on the remaining two until police arrived.

The cops then arrested the homeowner and are holding him on suspicion of murder.

Silly old man, he should just hire guards, as 78-year-old (!) Goldie Hawn in now doing.

Goldie Hawn says 'LA is terrible' after becoming victim to multiple home break-ins in 4-month span

Hollywood's bright lights are fading fast for Goldie Hawn, and she's ready to get the heck out of Dodge.

The actress, 78, admitted her home in Los Angeles was "robbed once" recently while she was out to dinner for a few hours with Kurt Russell, her partner of over 40 years.

"What if we couldn't live in LA, where would we live? We both decided, I think it's Palm Desert. … It's so safe," Hawn reminisced about her dream location to plant new roots while appearing on the SiriusXM podcast "Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa." 

"It's just 'cause L.A. is terrible. I mean, we were robbed once."

The Academy Award-winning actress explained that she and Russell were "gone two hours and 20 minutes" before returning home to a seemingly normal situation. 

"We came back and went in the house. I went up to the stairs and I walked into my closet. I just lost it," Hawn said. "They had broken in from the balcony to our bedroom, our closets."

Hawn added, "And they completely knocked down my door, which is a safe door, so they're very, very sophisticated, and they got a lot of my goodies, if you know what I mean."

Despite the traumatic event, the "First Wives Club" star attempted to put the incident in the past and was convinced the robbery was just a one-off.

"So, I'm thinking, 'Oh, my God, so the chances are, I guess that's it,'" she said. "It's gotta be. The odds are that's not gonna happen again."

Four months later, Hawn was alone at home with just her dog when she heard a startling noise in another room. 

"I hear this big thump upstairs — and I was alone; Kurt wasn't there — and I went, 'What the hell was that?'" she said. 

"It was just like, was that a sonic boom? Did somebody jump somewhere? And as it turned out, the next day, we discovered that they were trying to get in my bedroom while I was in the house."

"That's terrifying," Ripa said before Hawn responded, "I couldn't believe it. What is happening here?"

Ripa asked if she had any further protection in place following the break-ins. 

"I've had a guard, especially when I'm alone now," Hawn said. "I'm never without a guard. We have a nice relationship with our guard."

What self-proclaimed compassionate liberals refuse to acknowledge is that when they free criminals to go about their business, it’s the poor who are left defenseless; Goldie can hire guards or move to Palm Springs to escape, but the peasants have no such options.