No, I'm not quite ready to order a bear-sized pepper spray, but I'm warming to the idea

Colorado State University bans “racist” phrase, “long time no see”.

These word police crazies are the same type of people likely to arrive at my, or your, doorstep, pounding and shrieking and demanding our self-denunciation for our thoughts. Unlike poor Mrs. Tucker Carlson, who, faced with such a mob, fled to the safety of a locked pantry, I’d prefer a more pro-active response, and assuming my .45 Long Colt would be considered a tad excessive for the occasion, this can of whoopee should serve (though for that gay Latino country club member who called Tucker’s 19-year-old daughter a whore and a cunt, a .45 or a horsewhip would serve even better).

Alternatively, it would make a great gag gift if used at one’s next faculty party.