Breaking!

Hillary announces she’s running for reelection

"After much deliberation, consultation, and prayer to Moloch, I have decided that I will seek a second term," she said to a crowd gathered at a local Wendy's restaurant. "I feel I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to in my first term, and I really need a full eight years to implement my final solution to all of America's problems."

"Orange man bad! Orange man bad!" she chanted at one heckler, though the heckler turned out to be a Wendy's worker asking if she wanted the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger 4 for $4 or the chicken sandwich one.

Aides then gently ushered her back onto the bus to take her back to Bright Sunrise Home For Seniors.

I still say it’s gonna be Michelle.