Blondes shouldn't own blonde dogs — certainly not Golden Retrievers

Dumb and dumber: neither dog nor owner could figure out how to use a shovel

Dog crawls under deck, has to be rescued by the local fire department

I’ve often referred to golden retrievers as “Nantucket Dogs” because they’re the perfect match for their blonde mistresses cruising the island in their BMW convertibles: total IQ, adjusted to the retriever’s score of zero, barely nudges 20.

My working theory is that if a dog can get himself under a deck, he can damn well figure out how to extricate himself. But that theory goes out the window when a golden’s involved.

It’s a wonder they can figure out how to eat out of their kibble bowls.