Well, bottoms up!

Katy Perry says the secret to slowing aging is enemas.

I’ll confess to having no idea who or what a Katy Perry is, other than a name I see online from time to time, and I deliberately didn’t look her up because there are many things I don’t want or need to know, she being one of them, but it’s hard to resist a bottom story like this.

“I’m kind of into those type of things, like health and healing places and self-betterment places,” the 34-year-old pop star shared. “Especially as you get older and you have longer hangovers, you realize the cells in my body are dying. I did this thing called Panca Karma, it’s basically Ayurvedic eating and cleansing, you do lots of enemas.”

According to Adore Yoga, Panca Karma is “a full cleansing program that removes all the harmful toxins from the body to create optimum healing conditions … that takes 21 days to complete.”

Were I suffering from hangovers, and especially if those hangovers were lasting longer as I aged, I might consider quitting, or at least tempering the booze intake before I resorted to squirting warm water up my fanny, but … whatever.

On a hunch, I DuckDucked “Katy Perry Trump” and found that this genius has pages of opinions on the president and how he could improve his behavior to better suit her demands. Her uninformed idea of why he’s to blame for the California wildfires that threatened her friends’ mansions seems typical.

But back to the enemas and the wisdom of pop stars:

She and fiancé Orlando Bloom prefer “new age,” holistic treatments to modern medicine.

“There are ancient ways to heal yourself besides just taking a pill, which is something I always love to investigate,” she said.

Though she’s passionate about health, the “Never Really Over” songstress also admitted she’s all about balance.

“Orlando is very all about that kind of new age of living, for instance, today we are actually on a little bit of a health kick because we ate so many croissants when we were on vacation,” she explained, adding that they’re “eating fruit and apple cider vinegar and later I may have a vegan meal.”