Happy Columbus Day!

How dare you travel to the Caribbean, you red-skinned savage, you!

While there have been some faint whispers in the past few years that the story of Christopher Columbus taught in school may not be the full one, misinformation isn’t the exclusive province of the non-woke. The illustration above comes from a purported history of the Iroquois Indians. Hmm: Spanish conquistadors in New England? That’s a heretofore unknown historical tidbit, and besides, they arrived in the New World long after Columbus had left. Tipis in the background? Tipis were used by western-Indians — woodland Indians lived in hogans or Winnebago RVs. And while the image isn’t quite clear, the chicken feathers on the brave warrior in the foreground seem to comprise a war bonnet — again, something worn exclusively by the fellow’s western cousins.

Oh well, happy indigenous peoples day too. Go out and skin an enemy alive; eat some dirt and rocks; and break open the blanket chest!