As God is my witness, I thought whales couldn't fly

British town uses Oregon’s exploding what fiasco to teach lesson on social distancing.

Fifty years ago, a huge sperm whale washed up on a Florence, Oregon beach. Deciding that it was too big to move, town officials decided to dynamite it. How much dynamite? Well, you can never have too much dynamite, so they thought twenty cases should do the trick. A military veteran advised against using so much but hey, in for a penny, in for a pound.

KATU-TV reporter Paul Linnman covered the effort, which attracted a large crowd of spectators. Officials moved the onlookers back about a quarter mile for safety and set off the dynamite.

“The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds,” Linnman says in his televised report.

The onlookers were covered in a downpour of whale blubber. Pieces soared and a large chunk crushed the roof of a car, though no one was hurt.

Not only was everyone covered in blubber, but the whale largely remained intact. Scavengers wouldn't touch the carcass. Officials spent the rest of the day burying it on the beach.

“The problem hadn’t gone away, only now there were thousands of bits of problem spread for miles around,” the council said, alluding to how the coronavirus could spread if social distancing wasn't practiced.

The council’s final point was that everyone should stay home and “let nature take its course.”

“Sometimes, it’s better to just sit at home and do nothing than go outside and do something ridiculous.”.