Only one of these stories has happened — yet.

New program helps people of color adopt a white liberal to speak on their behalf.

MENLO PARK, CA—A new nonprofit organization is teaming up with app developers to help people of color find and adopt white liberals to speak for them. The program is called Adopt A Voice and will help people of black and brown descent express what they truly desire, think, and mean to say.

"I signed up for it," said African American Bradley Trent from Columbus, Ohio. "They paired me up with a 37-year-old white girl named Claire who claims to be bisexual but as far as I can tell she just really likes cats." 

When asked what his opinion of the program was, Claire responded on Bradley's behalf, "Bradley is just so grateful to have his voice heard especially on key issues like women's right to choose, climate change, and especially trans issues."

Bradley later commented, "I had no idea that's what I meant to say. Amazing." 

Unilever’s Ben & Jerry’s brand demands we defund and dismantle the police