How do you lose 15 pounds of ugly fat? Chop off your head

Waiting for fans in East Hartford

UCONN dropping swimming as a sport, still looking at $10 million deficit in its athletic programs. Here’s what to do: eliminate football entirely. The team is lousy, students don’t attend its games, its huge stadium in East Hartford sits empty, and the program generates $3.3 million in revenue while racking up $16.6 million in expenses. And that’s not including various other costs, like the $3 million a year being spent towards the $17 million fee for joining the Big East conference.

Intramural sports are just fine: ask “Toys for Tots” Dick Blumenthal, who turned his stint on a Harvard dorm’s intramural swim team into a claim of being a member of that school’s varsity. No more truthful than his boast of serving in Vietnam, but so what? It worked.