"We don't want to burden our parents"

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Not the Babylon Bee: Seattle wokettes go to court to demand the city provide them with free riot gear.

Black Lives Matter protestors in Seattle took their wokeness to a new level on Monday when they filed a lawsuit against the City of Seattle, demanding the city provide them with "expensive protective gear." According to the Seattle Times, equipment includes "helmets, gas masks, protective clothing, goggles, gloves, boots, umbrellas and other gear they say are needed to fend off police pepper spray, less-lethal projectiles and other crowd-dispersal tools."

The protestors cited the Seattle Police Department "shooting toxic substances in the air, deploying projectiles at departing protesters, and tossing blast balls into close areas of protesters marching" as the reason the city should pay for protestors' protective equipment. 

The argument is that protective equipment necessary to protest safely is expensive so the city should bear the cost. The plaintiffs said not having access to the equipment, particularly because they aren't in a position to afford it, prohibits them from practicing their First Amendment rights.

And a replacement for Mom’s mini-van

And a replacement for Mom’s mini-van