I'm going with stewed prunes and applesauce, but who knows?
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What’s next?
Trump’s button summoned a butler with a diet-coke on a silver tray, but only Hunter likes coke in the Biden family (we think), and he’s being kept out of sight in the White House, so what will the doddering octogenarian do with the newly-freed space?
One tweeter speculates that “He replaced it with two new buttons....one for creamed prunes and another for applesauce”, though I’d think a single button could accomplish that.
Others have suggested equally plausible answers, such as a “Help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up” button, or one that will call his and Hunter’s business partners in China. And I suppose the single red button might be replaced with a three-button panel that includes all three options, but could Joe handle such a baffling assemblage of choice? Probably not.
Our house on Gilliam Lane used to have a similar butler-summons button in the dining room floor, beneath the hostess’s place at the table, installed for a previous owner. My mother, parent of five and the child of a Hollywood star who did employ servants, complained that she could pound it all night, without effect; no one was going to respond. Her plight reminded me of this dialogue, from Henry IV:
GLENDOWER
I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
HOTSPUR
Why, so can I, or so can any man;
But will they come when you do call for them?
Biden won’t have that problem, but he might be well served by remembering the rest of the passage:
GLENDOWER
Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command
The devil.
HOTSPUR
And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil
By telling truth: tell truth and shame the devil.
If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,
And I'll be sworn I have power to shame him hence.
O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil!
Biden’s no more likely to tell the truth than he is of remembering his Shakespeare, but it’s still a wise bit of advice.
