Also not The Bee

Not parody, not satire: Ax-Wielding Antifa Member Attacks GOP Senator’s Office, Dems Give Him Money, FBI Returns Ax.

Far-left miscreant Thomas Alexander Starks, 31, of Lisbon, North Dakota, pleaded guilty to destruction of government property last April. Starks brought an ax to Sen. John Hoeven’s office in Fargo on December 21, 2020, and smashed  an intercom and glass door. The attack was captured on video.

Federal guidelines suggested Starks should spend 10–16 months in the hoosegow, but because he is a protected member of Antifa, he was sentenced to mere probation and ordered to pay $2,784 in restitution.

Keep in mind that there are people still in solitary confinement for taking non-violent selfies in the Capitol on January 6.

Even better, the FBI returned the ax he used in the attack. Starks is bragging about it on Facebook, where he goes by the name “Paul Dunyan,” a reference to the axman Paul Bunyan.

After his arrest, Starks set up a GoFundMe (where he claimed innocence) and begged for financial help to hire a lawyer. He also claims he would “never pointlessly put his family’s well-being in jeopardy with reckless vandalism.” Even though he did.

You may recall that GoFundMe refused to let people raise money for Kyle Rittenhouse’s legal fees, claiming that “company policy” forbid fundraising for defendants accused of violent crimes.

(Go HERE for the video)