Ol' Dependables: "Nobody tells me nuttin'."

The figurehead president of the United States calls reports that he’ll be passing out payments of $450,000 to illegal immigrants “garbage”, and vows “that’s not gonna happen”. ACLU says perhaps his handlers haven’t kept him abreast of what’s going on.

“President Biden may not have been fully briefed about the actions of his very own Justice Department as it carefully deliberated and considered the crimes committed against thousands of families separated from their children as an intentional governmental policy,” ACLU Executive Director Anthony D. Romero said in a statement.