Given the inanity of most class action suits, this is barely satire
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DECATUR, AL—Meow Mix has always gone by the slogan, “The brand cats ask for by name.” And it does seem like cats are always crying for Meow Mix, as cats can often be heard wailing, “Meow!” late into the night. But a new scientific study has shown that the Meow Mix slogan is in fact false advertising, as the cats were never asking specifically for Meow Mix but were simply making a standard cat noise.
“I began to notice something was awry when I realized cats never said the full name of the product,” said Scientist Trevor Peterson. “They only said the first part -- ‘Meow’ -- but never the ‘Mix’ part that went after it.” This led Peterson to conduct a decade-long study on cats, communication, and eating habits. The results, just published Monday, show that cats say ‘Meow’ even when their preferred food is Purina, Friskies, or Fancy Feast.
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After the report was published, Meow Mix was immediately hit with a class-action lawsuit for its false advertising.
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The scandal has caused further scrutiny of other aspects of Meow Mix, such as whether cats were actually singing the Meow Mix theme, or if that was done with some sort of audio trickery.
The general rule of these so-called class action suits is that the lawyers bringing them get millions while the supposedly-harmed consumers get a handful of cents-off coupons. It’s all just legal blackmail.
