Old Dogs, Children, and Watermelon Wine

The yoga “dog’s lifted leg move”: Kate Murphy bids adios to former friend - “You should have gone on a diet, Fatso!”

New York Times columnist suggests readers get rid of 'obese,' 'depressed' friends

A recent column in the New York Times drew outrage after suggesting that amid the pandemic-induced shakeup of Americans' social lives, people should "curate" their social circles as the nation gradually moves back toward some semblance of normal life.

Columnist Kate Murphy suggested such curation should weed out people who appear depressed, are obese, or engage in legal vices like smoking or drinking. Those friends, she said, make a person more likely to engage in said vices or to become overweight or depressed themselves.

"Indeed, depressed friends make it more likely you’ll be depressed, obese friends make it more likely you’ll become obese, and friends who smoke or drink a lot make it more likely you’ll do the same," Murphy wrote.

What are the hallmarks of good friends? Foremost, they make you feel good about the world and about yourself. They are there for you [and] listen to you ….

Silly me, I thought that good friends stood by each other when one was troubled and that we “feel good about ourselves” when we reach outside ourselves and help another. Then again, I’m not an aging millennial, I’m not an NYT reader, and I write for the Times’ audience of self-centered, puerile whiners.

Tom T. Hall must have encountered people like Kate Murphy back along his travels: “Old friends are hard to find when they hear you’re feeling down”