Can't improve on this headline (but I can add a picture and caption)
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Aide! Je ne peux pas me lever!
DAMN NEAR KILLED HIM: Kids’ ward evacuated after pensioner shows up at A&E with World War One bomb up his a*se.
An elderly gentleman who arrived at an Accident and Emergency centre in Toulon, France, sparked a bomb alert after doctors realise the had a First World War artillery shell lodged in his anus.
One member of hospital staff told French news site VAR-Matin that the explosive object was something of a first.
“An apple, a mango or even a can of shaving foam,” they said, “we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be. But a shell? Never!”
Once managers at the Sainte-Musse hospital realised what they were dealing with, they organised a partial evacuation of the nearby departments – in particular the children’s ward.
Hospital management confirmed that there had been “an emergency that occurred from 9pm to 11:30pm on Saturday evening that required the intervention of bomb disposal personnel, the evacuation of adult and pediatric emergencies as well as the diversion of incoming emergencies.”
You know you’re not supposed to do that, right?
