Ah, Florida Man!

And because I just know that you’ll want the details ….

A distracted Florida man receiving oral sex smashed directly into a FedEx truck in Ft. Lauderdale Thursday night, injuring his groin, local police said.

The unidentified man and his female companion were both found partially naked after the collision just before 7 p.m., according to reports.

Images from the post-crash chaos show the front ends of both vehicles badly damaged at a busy intersection with four people sitting or lying down nearby.

One of the victims can be seen lying on the ground with their pants around their ankles as officers tend to them.

Rescue officials said the driver sustained an unspecified injury to his [where’d HE come from?] groin due to the circumstances of the crash. However, the SUV driver’s penis was “nearly bitten off,” according to the Daily Mail — presumably because the impact caused his companion to bite down. [sounds like just one of “their” penises was chomped off — the female’s remained intact — whew! —Ed.]

Ow. Just …ow.

(I’m providing the sanitized, tamer, NYPost version of this tragic incident. For a more lurid report, by all means, try the Daily Mail’s coverage, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.)