Once again, the Bee has slipped from satire into straight news reporting

At publishing time, reporters on the ground say that show producer Cory Gates and cameraman Jan Blagojevich sadly died when their car exploded from a faulty spark plug.

Steven Hoffenberg, former Epstein mentor and Ponzi scheme partner, found dead

Authorities discovered Hoffenberg, who spent 18 years in prison for running a half-billion-dollar Ponzi scheme, dead in his home around 8 p.m. Tuesday. It is not clear exactly when he died.

Hoffenberg had claimed that Epstein was his accomplice in a Ponzi scheme he ran through his Towers Financial Corp.

“He was my colleague daily, seven days a week,” he said of Epstein in a 2019 interview in Quartz.

“She’s one tough lady”