Cry me a river: life is full of choices, and sometimes one choice precludes another, despite what’s taught in modern kindergarten.

Lattes in Manhattan, and weekends with other kids in the Hamptons, or careers offering less money and less stress? No, honey, you can’t have both.

Three-quarters of Wall Street’s junior bankers want to quit: survey

More than three-quarters of Wall Street’s junior bankers want to quit their jobs — despite big banks hiking compensation to record levels during the pandemic, according to a new survey.

The analysis, conducted by UpSlide, found 76% of bank analysts — first-, second- and third-year bankers — said they’d take less money for more flexible hours and more work-life balance. Indeed, 86% of junior bankers said they had to take days off due to the stress of their grueling responsibilities.

Another 33% said they weren’t able to use all their vacation days because of their demanding schedules, while 72% of respondents said they were pushing to keep their hybrid work schedules amid worries of being forced to return to the office five days a week.

Sadly, not everyone shares the pain of these graduates of campus safe rooms:

As economic headwinds loom, jobs may become tighter and analysts may be forced to suck up complaints, some senior bankers suggest. Some also are confessing to a bit of schadenfreude as they watch the junior set finally facing reality, The Post has previously reported.

“Many of the little f–kers were unhappy in March (before bonuses),” one senior banker told The Post. “Most entitled group of people in the history of mankind.”

Despite what they learned in kindergarten, America is not a slave state, and nothing prevents these children from escaping their bondage; they can do so by uttering just two simple words: “I quit.”

UPDATE: Wow, no sooner did I post this than I spotted a solution and an alternative for these put-upon MBAs: take off your suits, and don a fast food smock.

Michigan Chipotle workers join the Teamsters Union

"Today's victory is an amazing moment for our team that has worked so hard and spent many months organizing," said Samantha Smith, 18, a crew member at Chipotle who has worked at the Lansing-area restaurant for more than two years.

"We set out to show that our generation can make substantial change in this world and improve our working conditions by taking action collectively. What this vote shows is that workers are going to keep taking the fight to big corporations like Chipotle and demand the working conditions we deserve," she added.

If Jamie Dimon thinks he’s got trouble with his little junior bankers now, just wait until the next batch arrives from nursery school.