Say, this same idea, modified slightly, would probably repel “Save the Whales” and “Young Communists of Connecticut” petitioners, as well.

Morman missionaries turn back at gay-friendly doormat

An Indiana couple rolled out an LGBTQ+ friendly welcome mat in front of their home, only for the decor to deter a pair of Mormon missionaries from even knocking on their door.

Jamie Foust, 28, and her wife Melissa, 32, initially purchased a rainbow-trimmed doormat reading “Gayest Place in Town” from Target in June because they thought it was funny.

Two months later, on August 23, their doorbell camera captured two Mormon missionaries approaching their home, armed with the word of the Lord.

In the brief clip, the clean-cut young men can be seen reaching the threshold, until one looks down and reads the word “gayest” out loud. 

The discovery is quickly followed by a “nope,” and the pair sauntered away. 

While I don’t remember any LDS missionaries appearing on my doorstep in Riverside, Jehovah's Witnesses occasionally did, and I was always careful to show them respect and courtesy when they appeared. They were usually Black, and I admired the courage it must take to go into a 100% lily-white neighborhood, knowing that their message would be rejected by most of the people answering their knock, but willing to endure their scorn on the off-chance they could, in their estimation, possibly save someone’s soul. I’m not saying I was convinced or even accepted a Watchtower, but I was always respectful.

And while I can’t say I extend the same tolerance to the politicized college students who show up touting their various causes, I’m always polite (almost — ANTIFA goons and the like are shooed away), so a magic doormat that gently drives them away, and spares me even having to pretend to be polite sounds like just the ticket. And gentler than the electric cattle fencing I’ve been using up to now.

(UPDATE) It occurs to me that a Trump doormat might be misinterpreted as an invitation to wipe one’s feet on it thereby indicating an anti-Trump attitude, so perhaps an obviously anti-Biden mat would be safer. My father, Yale ‘27, and almost always unfailingly polite, did enjoy placing a Harvard mat in front of our powder room’s toilet when hosting parties, a practice he continued for years until it disappeared: presumably, some Harvard prig was offended, rolled it up, and stole up. We all hoped that, being a Harvard man, he’d dribbled on it first, and had to cary a damp mat under his armpit while sneaking it out of the house.

(A mat something like this, perhaps);