Dr. Rachael was rebuffed, despite her applying spray tan on her hairy legs

"If you're not as black as Robert Downey, Jr., then you ain't black," said the President

Awarding the white actor a black award equitably follows in the footsteps of First Lady Jill Biden, who recently gave the International Woman of Courage Award to a fat guy from Argentina squashed into a dress and caked with makeup to show young women around the world to never give up on their dreams of being crushed into oblivion and wiped from the history books.