Marines disband sniper units, will use counselors, social workers instead (updated)

greetings from uncle sam

Maine Corps shutting down its elite scout sniper program

“You can’t reach out to a rag head and hold a meaningful conversation from 1,000 yards away”, Lieutenant General Wiliam, “call me Willy” Perkky, pronouns sher, xi, theresum, Deputy Commandant for Policy, Plans, and Operations told FWIW, “it’s just bang! and a second or so later his skull explodes, splattering bits of skull and brain matter everywhere before you’ve had a chance to engage with him, probe his grievances, learn his motivations. How on earth can we come to know a potential friend — someone we just haven’t met yet — and resolve our conflicts, if we act that way?

“So we’re getting rid of the rough, burly men who until now have been the face of our community relations force in war zones” he continued, “and bringing in kinder, gentler, non-binary women: We’re calling them the ‘Camo-Candy Stripers Cuddle Squad’ and we’re real excited about it. And we’re changing our motto, too: no more ‘reach out and crush someone’; now it’s ‘reach out and touch someone’. Isn’t that sweet?”

We can all sleep peacefully in our beds tonight, thanks to General Perkky and his Pentagon staff. Semper Experrectus, or as Google would have it, “Always Woke”.

Update, March 5th: Okay, that was sarcasm (sort of), this is genuine:

This Biden-appointed Secretary of the Army has never served in the military, but she holds a B.A. in political science, and a master’s in public policy, and has spent career as a lifetime Democrat apparatchik, beginning in the Clinton administration. So that’s reassuring: the security of our nation is in the best of hands.

Career

Wormuth entered government service as a presidential management intern in 1995. She spent the next six and half years as a civil servant in the Defense Department. Later, she worked as a government consultant and then a senior fellow at the Center for Strategic and International Studies.