Oh, I do so love savagery

I don’t spend an awful lot of time worrying about the travails and woes of the former royal idiot and his wife, but the headline that, despite their rejection of all things royal, they were insistent on their spawn retaining titles, caught my eye, just for the sheer hypocrisy of it all. So I greatly enjoyed this reaction to that news by an Englishwoman, Jan Moir; we all can do snark, but Moir elevates nasty to a wonderful new level.

… Refusing to use or glorify in royal titles for Archie and Lilibet would have mothballed the monarchy in their troubled lives in one sweeping, admirable gesture.

The Sussexes could have said goodbye forever to the boiled beef and custard sludge of a British life they clearly found hateful. They could have freed themselves from the stifling tradition and embarrassing privilege, and instead fully embraced the glittering meritocracy of America.

That would have been bold, progressive and non-elitist, which is exactly what this pair always claim to be, against all evidence to the contrary.

Instead the reality is that they want to cling onto the titles and the prestige the way a limpet clings onto the teak hull of a royal yacht; the way a leech fixes onto a thumping, pumping royal vein and sticks its fangs in for the long haul. They will stick to and they will suck on these Windsor connections, because it suits them financially and it suits them socially –and frankly, without them what have they got? She's a television actress, he's a walking ragbag of fashionable neuroses with a mind that we now learn has been 'windscreen wiped clean' by cannabis and hallucogenic drugs.

Spot on.