Operation Fail

attack of the spy balloons

This morning: Operation Don’t Let Biden Fall: White House Admits Strategy To Keep President Upright Until Election

President Joe Biden's staff is urgently working to prevent him from taking a disastrous fall before the 2024 election, the White House confirmed to Axios.

The strategy involves Biden working with a physical therapist to improve his balance, wearing tennis shoes more often to avoid slipping, and using the short stairs on Air Force One, Axios reported on Tuesday.

"Democrats, including some in the administration, are terrified Biden will have a bad fall—with a nightmare scenario of it happening in the weeks before the 2024 election," according to Axios. "Biden's team is betting that any mockery he receives over using the shorter Air Force One steps and wearing tennis shoes will be worth it to avoid another public stumble."

White House spokesman Andrew Bates acknowledged what the news site called the "urgent project to protect [Biden's] reelection bid," albeit indignantly.

"This isn't new—it was proactively and transparently disclosed," Bates told Axios. "This article fits an unfortunate pattern of media attempting to sensationalize something that has long been public, rather than covering the president's very real achievements for hardworking Americans."

Biden, the oldest-ever serving U.S. president, turns 81 in less than two months.

This afternoon: Joe Biden slips, nearly tumbles while exiting Air Force One