Someone didn't read the election returns

Defying rumors of the death of woke, Formula 1 Racing’s commissioners have embraced diversity, inclusion, and entropy, and changed the organization’s charter to prove it

All ten F1 teams, Formula 1 and the FIA have agreed to a new formal Diversity and Inclusion charter to improve diversity across their organizations.

The new charter was crafted with support from the Royal Academy of Engineering [British — of course] which provided the first report for The Hamilton Commission in 2021 alongside Sir Lewis Hamilton, according to the official website for Formula 1.

“As a sport that prides itself on its unrelenting high performance, Formula 1 recognizes the importance that diversity plays in introducing new perspectives and ideas, and in driving innovation, culture, and business results,” Stefano Domenicali, President & CEO of Formula 1 announced on the organization’s website. “The charter is the next important milestone on that journey, and we are all committed to making our sport more open and diverse,” he noted.

“This landmark partnership between Formula 1, the teams, and our Federation signifies a united course of action which I am proud to be a part of,” added President of the FIA Mohammed Ben Sulayem, “and we’re all even more proud to announce our new, exclusive sponsorship with Bud Light. Together, we will bring new driving opportunities to the blind, the paralyzed, and the sexual dysphoriacs who until now have been kept on the sidelines of our sport.”

“And epileptics! Dr Hayaatun Sillem CBE, Chief Executive of the Royal Academy of Engineering chimed in. “We’re gonna have spazes behid the wheel! I think we can all understand the new excitement that we can expect when one of these guys goes into a fit just 100 yards from the finish line —POW!”

Spuds MacKenzie was unavailable for comment.