Let us hope our relationships with our own families are a little better than this one was
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who loves ya, baby?
Maine woman memorializes mother’s ‘wake of destruction’ in obituary
A four-sentence obituary published Friday morning on the Kennebec Journal and Morning Sentinel’s website said that a Glenburn woman died “without family by her side due to burnt bridges and a wake of destruction left in her path.”
The obituary for Florence “Flo” Harrelson, 65, was written by her daughter, Christina Novak.
“Florence did not want an obituary or anyone including family to know she died,” the obituary read. “That’s because even in death, she wanted those she terrorized to still be living in fear looking over their shoulders. So, this isn’t so much an obituary but more of a public service announcement.”
In a phone call with the Bangor Daily News on Friday, Novak described her mother as abusive and controlling toward her and other family members. Yet she said she didn’t feel any anger while writing the obituary, only relief.
Harrelson served in the Marines and was a guard at Maine State Prison, [unsurprising — Ed] Novak said. She was predeceased by her husband and brother. When she died in February of heart failure, it had been more than a decade since Novak had broken off contact with her.
It wasn’t until Aug. 23 that Novak, who lives in Maine, learned that her mother had died.
After confirming that it was true, she thought she would have liked to know earlier so she could have passed the previous six months without worrying that her mother might reappear in her life. Harrelson had been diagnosed with cancer, Novak said, but died of heart failure.
Novak started to write a traditional obituary but she kept finding herself drifting into sarcasm or spinning into a litany of wrongs her mother had done to surviving family members. Finally she hit on the idea of the public service announcement.
She ran the finished draft by several relatives, including an older one she thought might take issue. After a pause of a day, that person simply corrected the spelling of the word “destruction,” Novak said.
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At $1.25 a word Novak opted to keep it simple. The obituary appeared without a photo. It cost her $86.13, but the entertainment was “priceless,” she said.
“When I wrote it. I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t angry. I was actually sitting with pen and paper and giggling to myself,” she said.
