Campus anthem

Country Western steps in where others should have by now, and provides the snowflakes with their very own song.

Based on Garth Brook's "Friends in Low Places", but the children probably won't know either Brook's song or a satirical parody when it slaps them in the face.

Sample lyrics:

• I've got friends in safe spaces. If you don't go with us, then you must be racist.
• Come on in and let's be cozy. Showin' off participation trophies.
• Feel very bitter, got news off of Twitter, we just can’t handle defeat.
• This can’t be true, America’s through, and to the safe spaces we went …
• Give us an hour, we’re delicate flowers, we just need an embrace!
• Blame it all on our roots, we never wore boots, we never once played in the streets.