Marry in haste, repent at leisure

That's not quite right: 106 Porchuck Road has been for sale since 2016, when it started at $2.995 million, but its latest listing, at $1.899, has only been on the market for three weeks, and is now under contract. These sellers paid $2 million for it in 2013, silly them, and poured a ton of money into "improving" it, to no noticeable effect. I'll point out that it was a private sale.

UPDATE: "Flash" sends along this press release from the Department of Justice; The sellers are (were, now) major drug dealers.

No, no, no —you don't want to live in a gymnasium

Nor do you want to face frying eggs in this atrocity at 6 in the morning