Daring, bold Lamont saves Connecticut from the Black Plague

Ned dons his dress mess

Three Norwalk restaurants shut down for serving nachos and salsa instead of a full, wholesome meal.

“I’m just following the science”, Lamont told FWIW in explaining his executive order that liquor can only be served with a full meal, “and it’s an undisputed, hard scientific fact, not some dictatorial fiat I’ve pulled from my butt, that neither nachos nor pretzels offer any protection against COVID-19, whereas a prime rib and potato served with beer does.

“I’m thinking”, he conceded, “of allowing a polenta substitute for that potato, and maybe allowing a no-fat ice cream for a dessert, but I won’t know that until I wake up tomorrow morning.” Lamont was adamant, however, that he would not relax his mandate that diners wear face masks while eating: “I mean, it just looks hilarious, doesn’t it? Why should I deny myself that pleasure? Hee hee hee hee – but anyway, trust me on this, we’re talking science here.”