From Zero Base to First Base

at long last love

Oregon Health Authorities grant permission for its obedient citizens to move up from onanism to kissing “so long as proper COVID-19 precautions are observed”.

Because Oregon is this country’s Australia (California and Seattle being our New Zealand), I imagine there’ll be a loud, state-wide sigh of relief as zippers are pulled up and the sheeple head out for long-deferred coffeebar dates.