We're in the best of hand(ler)s

So why did they send him to Texas? To see how his open orders policy is working? Jump naked back and forth over the imaginary wall he’s refused to build? Hardly. He’s there to talk about veterans’ health care, especially the “burn pits” used in Iraq to destroy the weapons of mass destruction his party insists weren’t there. And Beau, of course.

“If time permits”, White House spokesman Horatio Blomee announced, “we’ll let him visit an ice cream store for a cone, especially if we can find one owned by an industrious illegal alien, and a spoon. Otherwise, we’ll have to feed him on Air Force One.”