Oh, the HUMANITY!
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yes, that’s a mustache; no, those aren’t breasts.
Looking for love, in all the dark places: Mr. Dylan Mulvaney complains that he can’t get men to date him.
Dylan Mulvaney wuz robbed. After undergoing multiple drastic and probably painful surgeries to make him look more like a woman, Mulvaney is discovering that no one is interested in going out with him. According to the Daily Caller, Mulvaney told People in March that he feels like someone who should not be single. Well, we’re all entitled to feel how we want. Reality frequently has other plans.
According to Mulvaney, “I’m getting a little impatient because, especially when you’re feeling yourself and even looking at that Grammys picture, I’m like, that’s somebody who should not be single. But then you’re like, wait, why is no one in the DMs?” He also has a live-stream variety show coming up later in the month and said:
We’re working towards that. I can’t wait for the day that I get to show people that a trans person can be in a healthy, happy relationship. I really want somebody to make me laugh because so much of starting to succeed and have these great things come has been a little serious at times, having to put this businesswoman hat on. But I think once I do meet that person that can add some levity, add some lightness back to my life and I know that I can make them laugh in the same way, that is going to chef’s kiss.
He’s had complaints in this area before, such as “People aren’t willing to overlook my genital sack”
In a video filmed earlier this year, Mulvaney explained that she got unusual stares from people in public when she wore tight clothing.
“And I went, ‘Oh, I forgot that my crotch doesn’t look like other women’s crotches sometimes because mine doesn’t look like a little Barbie pocket,'” Mulvaney said.
Mulvaney then explains that she could either wear looser clothes, do a “tuck” (which she describes as painful), or she can “normalize women having bulges sometimes.”
Mulvaney has been getting quite a bit of support from the usual suspects, including Biden’s handlers:
And even from once-respected publications:
BUT! Mr. Mulvaney is in luck, or he will be soon, because the latest bit of sanity sweeping the progressive world is that males and women, gay or straight, have a moral duty to accept dangle-males as fit for dating and mating. You must not, according to the New Guardians of the Age, exhibit “genital-preference”, and if you do, you’re a TERF, an evil person, and must be shunned and destroyed.
This might work for women — after all, they’ve yielded the field to males in sports, academia, affirmative action, even their privacy in bathrooms and showers. (Most) men are made of stiffer stuff, so Mulvaney may find that his hopes to fulfill his sex fantasies are still limited by his selective appeal, but this new orthodoxy will surely sweep the nation’s campuses and high schools, so he’ll probably get what he wants, most nights.
