From what I can tell, this story is NOT satire; Disney has trimmed its sails and set off on a new course, self-parody

Disney’s newest ride is going to be just what you expected

After canceling the existing ride because of its systemic “racism”, Disney says “Goodbye, Splash Mountain”, and “Hello, all-black, all-woke, Tiana’s Bayou”

Set a year after the events of the movie, visitors will be told Princess Tiana has created an employee-owned Food cooperative called Tiana’s Foods that is built on a salt dome. As patrons of the ride enter the attraction, they will be told that the princess is missing a key ingredient for her Carnival celebration and they will be sent on a quest to find it during the ride.

Lincoln Brown:

Find a missing ingredient. For an employee-owned food co-op. Really? That’s the best you can do, Disney? In 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, you sailed beneath the waves among sharks, icebergs, and undersea volcanoes and escaped from a giant squid. In Pirates of the Caribbean, visitors make their way through the skeletal remains of pirates, get caught in the middle of a cannon battle, and try to get out of the port town before it is engulfed in flames and blown sky-high. In the Haunted Mansion, you have to escape from, well, a haunted mansion. I mean c’mon, it’s right there in the name.

But in an effort to make sure that Disney’s newest offering was politically correct right down to the last jot and tittle, guests will essentially embark on a trip to resupply a food co-op. That’s what the Imagineers have come up with. People whose jobs have “imagine” in the title came up with a food co-op. There was no “fun quotient” in the movie that could have been used on the ride? I’m sure that there will be plenty of cute characters singing beloved songs, and there will be a drop where everyone will raise their hands and go “Oooh!” “Ahh!” and “Whee!” And a gift shop at the end just in case you still have a little bit left on your credit card.

But Disney couldn’t just make a fun ride based on a movie that features black people. It had to find a way to make sure everyone knows just how sensitive the company is, by sticking in an employee-owned food co-op. I thought Sesame Street had already cornered the market on sensitivity. You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you, Disney? Will the people you are trying to attract be more inclined to stand in line for four hours because there’s a socially relevant element to it?

It’s a pretty sure bet that there are black and brown people who just want to go somewhere and have fun without getting a PC nudge at every turn. I know it’s a relatively small thing in a big world if you will excuse the pun, but it shows how preoccupied the company is with showing how “thoughtful” it is. So, to sum up, if you aren’t already skipping Disney because it is woke and overpriced, you can skip it because it is getting lamer by the minute. It’s a Thunberg world, after all.

Is this all a diabolical plot to put the likes of The Babylon Bee and the Twitter satirist Carpe Donkum, featured in a previous post, out of business? How can they possibly hope to compete with modern corporate America?

RELATED Disney has obviously decided to remake itself by jacking up admission prices to its parks beyond the reach of the dwindling middle class and churning out movies designed to alienate families. They are replacing their former customer base with a new, rich, ultra-liberal one, but are there enough wokettes with 1.1 children to sustain the empire? I hope not.