This wouldn't have been my first choice of locations, but what do I know?

Green & Tonic, the Gwyneth Paltrow of fruit drink and seaweed stores, is opening a branch in the abandoned post office in the (also abandoned) Glenville shopping center.

I’d have thought a purveyor of wackadoodle purges and “lady part” aroma bagels would do better in an area that had, you know, people in the area, but perhaps the consumers of this stuff prefer anonymity and privacy when shopping for goop.

Or maybe there’s a heretofore untapped passion for four-day fasting programs among Byram matrons?

In any event, here’s the store’s four-day, Gwyneth-approved Glenville Body Waste Removal Diet, yours for just $250 — get it while you can.