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Outdoor gatherings of up to 100 people will be legal as of tomorrow, and 250 beginning July 2nd. Reached poolside at the Belle Haven Club Greenwich Invisible head and Bureau of Land Management protest chieftainess Joanna Swomley told FWIW she was “ecstatic”. “We so very much wanted to show our solidarity with our colored people; after all, they work so hard, bless their hearts, serving us such yummy cocktails and buffets here at the Club, and without their help at our fundraisers, I just don’t know what we’d do — hire Mexicans, I suppose, but they’re not quite the same, are they?

“We couldn’t do anything except send checks until now”, she continued. “Now we can, and thank you, Ned Lamont. We’ll start organizing our first parade right away — invitation-only, naturally, and limited to 100 Buffies and Biffs, but in July we’ll expand that to 250, and if most of us are on the islands by then well, we’ll just send our domestics. After all, it’s the show of support that counts, and I’m sure the coloreds will be ever so grateful either way.”