America's Paper of Record and Prophesy

/

so what else we got?

July 26th, 2021 — Babylonbee.com

To Defeat New Variant, Experts Recommend Doing All The Things That Didn't Work The First Time

U.S. — To defeat the massive, scary, definitely world-ending wave of COVID being driven by the delta variant of the deadly, frightening disease you should remain afraid of for the rest of your life, experts are recommending we try all the things that didn't work the first time.

From wearing masks and social distancing to locking everyone down and destroying the economy, experts are all suggesting that we just try the same things we did last time that didn't work at all. 

"We are going to lock down, wear masks, and social distance, all of which didn't work, but hey. It's worth trying again," said Dr. Anthony Fauci in a television interview this morning. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. That's what they taught us in science school. Look at my lab coat. It's white. Do you like it? It has pockets."

The television anchor then assured Dr. Fauci that his pockets were very nice.