Genius at work in Cambridge

Harvard men’s panties can also double as face masks!

Harvard directive: sip and cover, no social interaction longer than 15 minutes. Probably not too much of a problem, for Harvard, because the students using staws to sip their coffee will undoubtedly use reusable hemp ones, and, from what I’ve heard, there aren’t many Harvard men capable of more than 15 minutes of “social intercourse” in the first place — more like 30 seconds, according to reports from disappointed co-eds.

Harvard, which did not respond to a request for comment, has a 94 percent vaccination rate among its students. As of this week, its test positivity rate is 0.18 percent.