Martin Heidegger, philosophical tomes, and Father Sarducci

I read a far-too-long essay (for me) this morning on the German philosopher Martin Heidegger’s rabid Nazism and I was reminded once again, of my misspent youth, because I spent a full year studying Heidegger’s “Being and Time”, wrote and defended my senior thesis on the work, received an A for the course from my professor, Chairman of the Philosophy Department, and yet if I understood a word that I’d written, it was gone the minute I grabbed my diploma and fled the campus forever. I’m fairly sure that Heidegger’s basic point was that “we’re all gonna die — live with it.”, but really, my entire memory of the man’s metaphysics was that it was set forth in a big, black-covered book, 4”-thick and weighing two pounds.

I do remember my Shakespeare, and some of Hume, Locke, Robert Nozick’s “Anarchy, State and Utopia”, and Joyce Carol Oates (dreadful), but all in all, I’d have better spent my time and money at Father Sarducci’s Five Minute University, where he promised to teach everything you’ll ever remember about your college courses five years after graduation. Judging from the audience’s reaction below, I wouldn’t have been alone.